What Happened To You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing
Bruce D. Perry Oprah Winfrey
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Overall pretty good book rooted in scientific evidence - doesn’t really provide any new ideas, but provides a really cohesive and memorable story with powerful anecdotes and data. I was honestly a bit surprised by the quality of the book. I don’t know anything about Oprah going into this but knowing that she was a popular celebrity made me hesitant to pick up this book considering many celebrities often abuse their fame and egotistically step into fields they aren’t qualified to speak about. However, this is mostly a book by Dr. Perry which is bolstered by Oprah’s commentary, experiences, etc.
Some takeaways from the book:
- ACE scores are a very rough metric that doesn’t take into account a variety of things such as age of trauma or many other effects
- “Trauma informed care” is now a buzzword
- Trauma can affect a person’s biology
- Dissociation can be a good coping mechanism in certain cirumstances.
- Self-harm occurs due to the release of opiates
- Connection is critical for resilience and is undervalued in the world of therapy and modern medicine.
- Touch in educational settings can be very crucial for a child’s development
- You treat people how to treat you
- The lower, traumatized portions of our brain are the first responders, taking control in certain circumstances and not letting the prefrontal cortex of higher decision making take control, leading a variety of maladaptive and non-purposeful responses often leading to confusion and sometimes anger from others.
- Regulatory techniques - rhythmic walking, chewing, rocking, etc. are not allowed in schools although they can be healthy systems.
- Child treatment centers need to tend to adults because a disregulated adult cannot regulate a child. This is obvious but rare.
- Dealing with trauma is a slow process that can only be discussed a few seconds at a time in many circumstances. This is why connection with friends where you can talk about it for short periods on your own time can be more important than hour long blocks of therapy where you stress out to discuss it for hours, sometimes retraumatizing you. (Explains why prying from friends and partners t0 discuss something painful with them can be so damaging)
- One person cannot raise a child on their own.
Note: Read as an audiobook, may have contributed to the experience! Fun to listen to Oprah and Dr. Perry talk back and forth.