Strangers Drowning: Impossible Idealism, Drastic Choices, and the Urge to Help by Larissa MacFarquhar
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I was surprised to find that this book was much less about any deep moral philosophy as much as it was about the psychology and cultural views of “do-gooders” and a sense of extreme moral duty (not just desire to be seen as good) that some people have. Listening to the stories of these people that have sacrificed so much have been interesting. I don’t agree with some of these do-gooders in this story, but understanding how they think and act has been revealing, along with much of the backlash they get from the rest of society for acting as they do. These do-gooders act from a place where they view strangers much as they do their own family. And these people aren’t seen by everyone around them (nor do they view themselves) as saints. Often times, their extreme sense of moral duty is suffocating and detrimental to their health.
One repeated sentiment from the author has stayed with me: That by elevating individuals to “saints” or “heroes” is to imply that the same actions that elevated these individuals are not expected from the common person. This is a sentiment that extreme do-gooders seem to internally reject. Even the parents in the book that adopt dozens of children to give them a loving and caring family don’t always do so from a loving perspective (though they often do), but from a dutiful one that seeks to save children from a terrible fate.
Note: Read as audiobook, don’t believe any quality was missed out on because of this.